quotes to save

My wife thinks I am witty. I think I am just lucky to have her. Here some quotes originated by me that she thinks are interesting enough to be preserved. This will be updated if I actually get witty.

I was almost as hammered as him, but I had style.

You are right, but right now I am anxious and that takes priority. [while driving and botching directions.]

I don't think I know anybody under 200 pounds. I don't even LIKE anybody under 200 pounds. [after noticing a warning label an a chair]

If it's not hickory smoked, it's just meat.

Crack gnats!

Bride: What if I lost a few pounds and grew a little teacup butt?

Me: I'd still love you.